2013 started off quite well. Matt made the trip to Sauble, caught up and gamed up. Fun times. For a week or so after, my depressing feelings came back with a vengeance not knowing why. I was still soul-searching for my soul mate with pretty much a prayer and random thoughts/dreams of what it might look like. This is a symptom/ disease that has kind of "plagued" me for the past couple years. Knowing that my relationships failed to no fault of my own (I stopped blaming myself, for the most part) was no longer bothering me much. I prayed for peace, and God gave me a peace like no other. I'll combine that with some good chats and actually a blog I read on singleness. Click here
Bible College was an interesting place to be single. How often I see the proverbial "I am a Christian boy, you are a Christian girl. Let's get married so I do not burn with lust! Because [marriage] the be all end all for believers ". (um...no?!) Who trained us to think like that? I felt like that once, until I traveled back in time and sacked myself. I think it is asinine that finding that "one" is mandatory for every believer. It's a blessing, not a necessity. Not everyone is called to such a life, I accept it. Kind of love it. If God blesses me or not, He's still awesome!
I echo the song by Kim Walker "I have found"
I have found a peace that plows on through the storm.
I have found a joy that jumps over sadness.
I have found a love that lights up every room.
I have found, I've found you!
I am finally at peace with my place in life and.. it feels like freedom! Now there are always other parts of my life that require improvement I know God is working. Confidence has always been my kryptonite, because of failures in several areas and/or/both not putting enough initiative into things. I strongly desire to serve God in a youth ministry aspect and my "inner critic" (as Brett Andrews puts it) shatters every opportunity. Not anymore! I am a tool to be used for His glory. SEND ME LORD!
2013, is looking to be a great year. Here's to it!