Fell-written July 8/12.
Off of the edge I fell
Spiraling towards the depths of hell
My bones, breaking one by one
All of black replacing the sun.
A darkness like none has ever seen
Like no place I have ever been
I thought that my punishment was just
I lie, I cheat, I steal, I lust.
After things that matter not
That after time will rust and rot.
Rather I must chase the prize
That makes me worthy in God's eyes.
Faith in Christ, eternal life
Ends all sin, all death, all strife.
Upwards I fall above the Earth
In heavens gates I find my worth.
Just Like in Cartoons-written July 9/12.
Little people on my shoulder
One good, one bad, one young, one older
My faith is new, so it is easy
To make my Lord a little queasy
Whisperinginto each ear
Giving me two ways to steer.
One in black, akin to lust
The other in white, both gain my trust.
Until one day, God spoke to me
"James trust me, and live in harmony
With everyone, all whom I love
Perfectly, from up above".
Quickly though, my frail hands slip
From the grasp, I've lost my grip
Dark ones, dark ones surround me now
Reminding me I fail, here's how:
I murder those with all my hate
Preventing me from Godly fate
I lust, I cheat, I hate I lie
How can God so pure, love I?
His word says "If you confess I forgive, so keep your head up".
So I can tell the dark ones "shut up"!
Frailty- written July 12/12.
My frail hands, tremble as they pen perhaps their last
My weak words, cannot say what cannot be surpassed
In my young life, I have tried and tried
To not have lust, greed and pride
Take my heart, my life my soul
And other things the devil stole.
Yet in the end, God wins center stage
But life's so hard, skip to the last page.
Fighting battles on my own
Can't be done as I groan.
Yearning for peace to quiet my heart.
Wins the fight, no need to start
Christ will conquer all my fears
As I'll be with him for eternal years.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
The last few nights, I've been unable to sleep. So I got out my journal and did some poetry. Now I am not the best at it, (ask any girl, I suck at it haha) but my heart was poured out. Enjoy!
Every New Day
Every new day
I must find a way
To run the race
Guided by your grace
My struggles go on
Wisdom I lack
All my sins pile on my back
I yearn for peace
For a release
From Satan's hate
To a heavenly fate
To a world without end
Where my brokenness will mend
In God's healing hands I stay
Every new day.
I had a dream that I was in love
Life was bliss, a gift from above
Nothing could stop us
In eachother we did trust
Then love left me
I was so empty
Wanting to die
No tears left to cry
My fate was sealed
When my heart was healed
I looked up and saw a tree
It said love has died for me
No human could ever love you
As God says He will do.
Can you hear me?
With whom you'll spend you're life
Wherever you are, I promise this
To have and to hold in God's perfect bliss
Only Jesus could love you more than I
Even though, you know I will try
Not even death will separate me
From loving you for eternity
With God's great love, we become one
A brighter love than any sun
Until then I can only dream
Of a woman I'll treat as a queen
Daylight, will you please save me tonight?
I am not coming home, I can no longer fight
Another battle with the flesh
All my sins begin to mesh
Shine on without me now
As the sun takes its final bow
Darkness falls and all is black
No light gets in from any crack
Surely now, my fate is sealed
Layers of my skin are peeled.
Suddenly I hear a shout
“Hark! A light! A way out!”
A light so bright, I become blind
And my whole life flies by in mind
I kneel down, begin to pray
“Father, I do not deserve to stay”
Before I could even speak
I heard every sin from every week
That I committed against Him.
I remembered and I cried
God said “ This is why my Son died”
For you, for all your sin
That you may enter in.
To see a daylight that never ends
Where on God's promises life depends.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
I ordered Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship and it sparked a discussion with my good friend Matt. As some of you know, Bonhoeffer was a pastor who was involved in a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Now, you're probably thinking "Oh it was Hitler, so that is okay". Well... not really, see despite being a sick, twisted piece of garbage he was a human created in God's image. Yes, he was responsible for the largest massacre ever and I feel he got what was coming to him. But Bonhoeffer was a believer, a pastor condoning murder (I kind of just did, but Hitler killed himself) The same thing crossed my mind when Bin Laden died. At first I thought: well.. good! He got it but then I thought, he was also created in God's image like we all are. If you do any crime, you deserve to do time. Justice must be served but murder is too far. Plus, the Americans dug themselves into a bigger hole by killing Osama. He was also responsible for a big massacre himself but I wrestle with such evil deserving death...